Saying "No"

Saying "no" is hard. In fact, it has, in many situations, been the hardest thing I've had to do. There are many things that I have said "no" to. Some instances have been harder than others. One time in particular, though, was very hard for me. You see, there was this guy. He was great: funny, smart, handsome, and adventurous. We worked together for over a year before he had the courage to ask me out. Well, it went a little more like this: I left my old workplace, he sought me out and found me at my new job location and asked me to "hangout."(Alright #1, I am totally oblivious when it comes to relationships. I really didn't see this coming and when he asked me to "hangout" I honestly didn't understand that he was interested in me.) I was busy that weekend, and I told him so. But he wasn't giving up so easily. I ended up just asking what his intentions were; I wanted to know what "hanging out" meant to him. As it turns out, he wanted to "more than hangout." He wanted a date.

And me? I wanted to date. I wanted a relationship.The problem: He wasn't a Christian. I sent him a very long message and explained to him that my answer was a definitive "no." Believing that he deserved an explanation, I went into the reasons behind my answer, backed up by scripture...

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14

I absolutely hated telling this guy "no." I felt like a horrible, horrible, person. Nevertheless, I knew that what I was doing was right. I would rather hurt him initially and it be over with than leading him on by going on one date with him. "What's the harm in just one date?" That was a question that I was asked. Here are the problems: 

1. One date can lead to a string of other dates.
2. I Only date for the purpose of marriage. Dating is a step toward marriage, so one should not even consider going on a date with a non-believer. 
3. I would be defrauding him. 
4. He doesn't have the same standards that I do, namely the same standards of purity. 
5. He could bring me down and ultimately, be a barrier between God and me. 

It's hard to say "no." Situations like this always happen when we are most vulnerable. That is why it is so, so important to constantly be on guard and equipped with truth. Stand firm and don't give in to the temptations that come. It might be fun in the beginning, but it's a tragedy in the end. I have talked to so many women who chose to marry poorly (it felt so right). Even to this day, long after the divorces were finalized, they deal with the consequences of following their heart instead of following their God. And to think...it all started with "just one" date.