When it comes to relationships, though, many have this same mentality. No one wants to wait (Including me!). We feel that it's "time" for us, so we go out looking for someone - anyone. We are so desperate for our needs to be met, right here, right now. The Lord spoke to my heart the other day as I was making my commute from school. I'll have to back up to get there first, though, so rewind.
Freshman year of college, I became friends with a guy (let's call him Joe) who I had been acquainted with for years. The more time I spent with Joe, the closer we became. I began to like him as more than a friend, and I thought he kind of might like me, too. Nothing ever happened. Joe fell off the face of the earth for whatever reason. We lost contact. I missed him a lot, but realized that he needed space. Therefore, I just left it alone. I tried to convince myself that I never really liked him "like that" because it was easier for me to move on that way. About a year ago, I thought about Joe again. I was going through a very bad bout with bronchitis; I remember being in my bed, drifting in and out of sleep, thinking, "I wish he was here right now. I would just love to see his face and talk to him."
The next semester at school, I always saw Joe walking to class, but I could never catch up with him to say, "hi." So, I just left it alone. I guessed that was that. In the spring, I got to talk to him again. It was a bit awkward at first, but after a minute it was just like nothing had changed. We picked up right where we had left off. Yet, it was just another hello and goodbye. I found out that he was leaving for the summer.
With a heart full of hope, I began praying for my friend everyday. I noticed that I still had not let go of the romantic feelings that I had for him. So, I began to pray that if this wasn't of God, these feelings for him wouldn't grow. However, my feelings toward him only continued to increase. There were days when I would cry because it was just so frustrating. This painful time of not knowing. All I could do was trust that God knew what He was doing, and remember that He didn't take Joe off of my heart or my mind.
When Joe got back, we hit it off again. The Sunday he was back at church, I greeted him with a semi - awkward hug. (I was so very nervous!). After that, things just kind of fell into place. I kept seeing him and every time he made an effort to talk to me. Now I see him every week. I have grown closer to Joe and I'm looking forward to what our relationship may grow to become. So often, though, I find myself trying to move things ahead and jump the gun.
This brings me back to my time in the car, heading down the highway in rush hour traffic. All of the scheming and daydreams in my head were suddenly silenced. I thought, "If I truly love this man, I will wait because I want what is best for him." Daydreams of holding hands and romantic picnics aren't bad, but I had to stop myself because I realized that I was being selfish. It all boils down to me, wanting to "feel good." Love, however, is waiting until the time is right and putting his needs before my own. If I'm not the woman God has planned for him, I don't want to be with him. If it's too early, I don't want to start something prematurely. Simple as that, though, very hard to say.
Joe means a lot to me, so very much. I will cherish his friendship for the rest of my life. My hopes are that we could take our friendship to the next level, if that is what the Lord wills. I'm not going to rush. I want to be a blessing to him by letting him take the lead and fulfill his role as a man. I will be a lady in waiting, an encouraging friend, and a sister in Christ.
True love is like a rose. Under the right conditions, a bud grows. One can never be sure, however, if the bud will produce a flower or a new stem. A rosebud has several coatings; it opens slowly, the wrappings falling off and the flower peeking through. It is a process that happens so subtly yet so naturally.
There's an old African proverb that says, "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." Joe and I had been texting one night about going hiking. I smiled to myself when he texted, "So how far do you want to go?"
Whatever God has in store for me and Joe, it is good. I can say that without a doubt.
This brings me back to my time in the car, heading down the highway in rush hour traffic. All of the scheming and daydreams in my head were suddenly silenced. I thought, "If I truly love this man, I will wait because I want what is best for him." Daydreams of holding hands and romantic picnics aren't bad, but I had to stop myself because I realized that I was being selfish. It all boils down to me, wanting to "feel good." Love, however, is waiting until the time is right and putting his needs before my own. If I'm not the woman God has planned for him, I don't want to be with him. If it's too early, I don't want to start something prematurely. Simple as that, though, very hard to say.
Joe means a lot to me, so very much. I will cherish his friendship for the rest of my life. My hopes are that we could take our friendship to the next level, if that is what the Lord wills. I'm not going to rush. I want to be a blessing to him by letting him take the lead and fulfill his role as a man. I will be a lady in waiting, an encouraging friend, and a sister in Christ.
True love is like a rose. Under the right conditions, a bud grows. One can never be sure, however, if the bud will produce a flower or a new stem. A rosebud has several coatings; it opens slowly, the wrappings falling off and the flower peeking through. It is a process that happens so subtly yet so naturally.
There's an old African proverb that says, "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." Joe and I had been texting one night about going hiking. I smiled to myself when he texted, "So how far do you want to go?"
Whatever God has in store for me and Joe, it is good. I can say that without a doubt.
No comments:
Post a Comment